Something that I acknowledged a long time ago but only now got to a level where I can put it in words. Buckle up, this one going to be a bumpy ride for some!
Something that I guess happens all over the world, and maybe in different cultures, but I can only speak about where I am at this moment.
In the Caribbean, and focusing on Barbados, why do people get so uncomfortable and offended when another person comes across as intentional and assertive?
Why do people feel the need to criticize others' thinking instead of cheering for their success of knowing who they are, who they want to be, and who they want to be with?
That is an accomplishment within itself. No one is born knowing who they are and where they belong in society. Most people live their entire life not having a clue, so even becoming aware of that and beginning the quest to seek it is extremely commendable.
But while on that journey, I have experienced and seen others experience the same thing: ridicule from peers. “Who do you think you are?” “You feel you are all of this and all of that?”
This is the most ridiculous thing I ever heard. It's like saying:
“How dare you strive to be great in life?”
“How dare you try to become better than who you were?”
“You are foolish for wanting to live your full potential.”
“You are an idiot for wanting the best that life has to offer.”
And because of your good nature and not wanting to offend people, you start to walk quietly and cover your voice and, most dangerously, dim your light. In other words, you start selling yourself short and stop living to your full potential. You don’t fly anymore. Instead, you walk, even though you still have wings on your back.
To the people that get offended by others trying to be great, you may think it's a competition and the race is being run against you. You may think that because another person is getting ahead, it means you're falling behind, or they might be trying to show you up, holding up a reflection of where you are in life.
Whatever the cause or whatever is deep down inside filling you up with envy, remember - that’s not who you really are. It's a disease that can be cured. It could be something that became embedded in you due to your surroundings. It could be how you were conditioned, something you learned from your parents, but the first step is to be aware of it, name it to claim it, then call it out. We all came from the same source and we are all made up with the same light. Some decide to let that light shine, and some work to cover up theirs and others.
When you see someone walking with their head up high and cutting through with confidence, don’t feel threatened and don’t be judgmental. You don’t know what demon that person just "slayed" and you don’t know how many internal battles they just fought and won. Anytime you feel like that jealousy or hate starts coming on, check ya self, call yourself out, and ask yourself, “what is this emotion trying to tell me?”. Most of the time, it's fear, the fear that you are being left behind. You are scared that you will never move from the level that you are at so it feels comforting and safe to find the company and talk bad about the person that seems to be moving ahead.
But most times the fear is love upside down
deep down you actually admire that person
the greatness that is trapped inside you sees that light and wish it can come out the same way
that love is converted to fear
because you feel these emotions you believe that others will also feel the same way about you, so you continue to keep that light trapped and join the fear army because it's comforting at that moment and it's in the safety zone.
To the people that are trying to fly, break the chains and lift off, bear in mind not everyone is going to understand your story. But that doesn’t mean you should sell yourself short and cover your voice. Until you build that grit, protect your energy but don’t hide it. You are not going to be welcomed in every room and you may not be followed by most.
But always make a pit stop at your why. Go back to the reasons why you need to shine your light, and you will be lifted by who is ready to receive it. Don’t deny the gift that God granted you, that’s just disrespectful. Lol
Reveal your light.
Anytime you feel tempted to join the masses in their thinking, always remember, turkeys gather together, but eagles fly alone.